The Trouble with Orgasms
You’d be amazed what people tell me since I moved into this business. The great part about it is that I’m achieving one of Queen Anne’s Lace’ goals…. Ensuring sex is talked about. This also gives me an insight into what goes on in the bedrooms of every day women - and trust me, we are all so very, very different. Us women are pretty good at talking light-heartedly about sex but we are often afraid to discuss the issues and/or what we really want or need.
During a recent conversation with an attractive lady in her early 40’s, it was confided to me that she was unsure if she had ever had an orgasm. My immediate response that that you absolutely know when you have one. She continued that she’d never let a partner go down on her for fear they may not like it! I assured her that most guys love it and are turned on at the idea of giving her pleasure. If a partner is reluctant there are certainly many other ways to achieve an orgasm together. She did however press the point that she finds sex extremely pleasurable despite not reaching climax.
This made me think about how difficult it can be for the men (or women) in our lives to help us reach the sometimes-allusive female orgasm. It occurred to me how important it is to understand our own bodies after all if we cannot achieve it by ourselves what hope does our partner have? For women orgasms are very much in our heads. This therefore makes it imperative that we are relaxed with our partners and not worrying about how we look and what the other person may or may not be thinking about our anatomy. Trust is a very important factor.
Don’t be afraid to get to know your own body and explore fantasies in your head while trying to reach that all-important moment. Vibrators are a great way to experiment. If you are wary of introducing these to your relationship, try using them alone in the first instance. Alternatively you may find it more comforting to use them with your partner. Lube is also essential in enhancing your experience.
Have you had problems reaching orgasm? Tell us your stories.